Friday, December 4, 2009

Gone Fishing...

"You only catch with the lures in your tackle box. So it's best you learn 'em."

Growing up in TEXAS on the Gulf Coast, being a part of the water in some way was non-negotiable. At some point, you learned how to fish whether you liked it or not. And if you paid close enough attention, gems like these were given to you left and right. The vision to apply them was left up to you.

Every guy, and woman for that matter, has something they can offer, something they can work with when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. You just have to take the time to learn what they are and learn how to use them. Most of us believe that the game starts with a first impression. Most of us are wrong. How many times have you gone out fishing without checking your gear? Oh, you don't fish? Allow me to rephrase: How many armies go to war without an ammunitions check? ZERO! Preparing yourself for interaction increases your chances for success. As athletes, we are taught to remember the 5 Ps: Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

So how do we prepare:

1. Identify your lures. 2. Learn how to use them. 3. Practice, practice, practice

Our lures come in many different forms but always shake out to fit in one of 2 categories: Physical lures or Non-physical lures. Identifying where a particular lure fits is pretty self-explanatory. A physical lure is something you can touch, and a non-physical lure is something you can not. Here is another place where we tend to misjudge. Most of us believe that women are most impressed with physical lures. This is incorrect. While both physical and non-physical lures are necessary to initiate interaction, NON-PHYSICAL lures prove more substantial in sustaining a woman's interest therefore lengthening the time frame of interaction and your opportunity for success. Plainly spoken: When it comes down to it, most women will stay interested in WHO YOU ARE rather than what you got. This is where developing your lures comes into play. It is imperative that you Don't Lie to yourself. Be honest about what you're good at doing. We all know where we feel comfortable in interactions with the women and where we feel like we need improvement. The best part about this is that it DOES NOT MATTER what you’re good at in the scope of interacting with women as long as you’re genuine about it. It will show when you're being yourself and you're being comfortable. If you like dancing, then dance. If you're good in conversation, then talk. If you're good at breaking the ice, chisel away. If you hate making the first move, then don't. If all you're good at doing is standing there and looking handsome, then post up. The most important thing to remember with this (for the time being in the beginning) is to stay in your pocket. Broadening your abilities and being versatile will come with experience, and we will discuss those later in the course. Right now, focus on mastering the lures that currently exist.

One of the most common mistakes we make with our interactions with women is thinking we have to be who they want us to be. In actuality all they really want from us is to be ourselves. Not because they really give a damn about hearing all about us, although that is a small part of it. You have to see the big picture. When we are really being genuine to whom we are, this allows them to be COMFORTABLE enough to be themselves. And that, my friend, is when the defense walls start to come down. If you're nervous, she's nervous. If you're uncomfortable, she's uncomfortable. If you're not being yourself, most women CAN tell. And while they may entertain a conversation with you, I guarantee when it comes time to get a number, kiss goodnight, or set up the next interaction - she will throw more excuses at you than you can imagine. It won't be because you're a bad guy. It's simply because she recognized you never put your guard down, so why should she. In her eyes that still makes you a threat. You have to give her a reason to invite you into who she is. Being comfortable and genuine in who you are from the jump will move you along at a much faster pace than owning a Porsche will. And to think it all started with you learning how to use talents you already possess.

Identify your lures. What makes you the most comfortable in dealing with women? How can you accentuate these in order to make you more relaxed in approaching a woman? Seriously take a moment to think about these things and figure out how to use them to improve your interactions.

Next Lesson:
Discerning the different types of women and how to effectively communicate with each one to increase immediate connection.

Love and Life

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